Parenting Archive - bodyfulminds.com

Why Asking for Help is Your Ultimate Strength

Picture of a woman as a superhero as image of the supermom who does it all alone.

Picture this: a woman as a superhero—the quintessential image of the “supermom” who does it all, alone. But is this ideal something to aspire to? Or does it set us up for failure?

Last week, I had a revelation that hit close to home. As a working mom, my biggest challenge isn’t just balancing work and family—it’s figuring out how to serve other working moms best. I know the work I do matters. Whenever I talk to other mothers, there’s an undeniable energy in the room. The need for support, empowerment, and connection is palpable. But one recurring theme keeps coming up: the hardest part for many of us isn’t just accepting help—it’s asking for it in the first place. We often think that needing help makes us less capable, like the illusion of being a “supermom” who does it all will somehow crumble. But let’s be honest: does anyone actually have it all under control? Or are we unknowingly driving each other into burnout by pretending we do?

More Community, Less judgment

If we were all a little more honest about the challenges we face, we could cultivate more compassion for ourselves and each other. Acknowledging that we can’t do it all doesn’t make us weak—it makes us human. And it opens the door to finding not only real solutions but real community.

The Myth of the Supermom

The concept of the “supermom” is deeply flawed. It perpetuates the idea that mothers must sacrifice everything—their time, energy, and even their mental health—to prove their worth. This ties into the broader association of motherhood with martyrdom, a notion that equates self-sacrifice with virtue. But let’s take a step back: martyrs, historically, are celebrated for their sacrifices rather than their mental resilience. Martyrdom is not an adaptive trait. It’s unsustainable, isolating, and ultimately harmful—both to the individual and to the community.

Boundaries and Support – the Real Supermom

Idolizing the “supermom” sets everyone up for failure. Instead, let’s challenge this narrative. True strength lies in:

Acknowledging our limits.
Asking for help.
Creating supportive environments where both moms and their families can thrive.

Setting a good example for our children means teaching them to set healthy boundaries earlier than we did. When kids see us saying “no” without guilt, they learn it’s okay to prioritize their well-being.

The Example We Set for Our Children

Kids already know their boundaries. They’ll say “no” at times that might be inconvenient for us. When we insist they cooperate despite their discomfort, we unintentionally teach them to override their boundaries. If they oblige, we’re pleased with their compliance, reinforcing this behavior. Over time, they learn that meeting others’ expectations is more important than honoring their own needs.

The Pitfalls of Forcing Early Independence

Western society often celebrates early independence, praising kids for doing things on their own. But this approach ignores individual differences. Every child finds independence in their own time. Encouraging kids to take steps independently is important, but so is allowing them the space to seek support. When we discourage asking for help, we perpetuate a cycle of self-reliance that isolates rather than empowers.

How Coaching Can Support Change

That’s where coaching comes in. It’s not about someone swooping in with answers. It’s about giving you the tools and clarity to figure it out for yourself. Coaching empowers you to:

Woman and child flying a kite in the sunset symbolizing the alignment of life achieved through coaching.

Reclaim alignment in your life.
Take charge of your priorities.
Recognize when to lean on others without guilt or shame.

Being a supermom isn’t about perfection. It’s about living authentically, knowing your limits, and choosing your path with intention. When we embrace this mindset, we stop chasing an impossible ideal and start building a life that aligns with who we truly are. And we set healthy examples for our children to follow.

Redefining Success

So, let’s rewrite what it means to be a supermom. Let’s normalize asking for help, being vulnerable, and showing up for ourselves. After all, there’s nothing more powerful than a mom who’s unapologetically herself.

If you’re still unconvinced about the benefits coaching can offer, my newest resource “The Work Challenge Playbook” is an easy way to explore it. It’ll cost you €0 but could change everything by helping you tackle a challenge that has been holding you back at work and that might even have spilled over into your private life. Don’t miss out. Let’s redefine success together.

Coping Mechanisms vs Empowerment Strategies

Motherhood is one of the most rewarding yet challenging journeys in life. At some point, nearly every mother has resorted to coping mechanisms to survive the whirlwind of responsibilities and emotions. But while these strategies offer short-term relief, they can sometimes trap us in a mindset that makes parenting feel heavier than it needs to be. Enter empowerment strategies: Intentional practices that help us reclaiming motherhood as confident, grounded parents and professionals, improving not only family dynamics but also workplace performance.

‘Knowing and Noticing’ to Reclaim Motherhood

Obviously, we cannot always be on top of things and feel empowered all the time, but it is important to notice when we are in survival mode and ‘only’ coping rather than thriving. When you acknowledge that you are just about coping, you can find your way back to a more empowered self. A self that is more in line with the person you want to be, the life you want to live. Allow yourself to cope in the least harmful way. Below I am giving a few examples on common coping mechanisms. By acknowledging them as such and tweaking them a little, they can pivot you closer to empowerment.

Self-Compassion for Alignment

In short, you can reclaim motherhood by being aware of what state you are in. Be gentle with yourself when you are in survival mode and trust, that you will get out of this ‘just about coping’ stage and back into alignment with yourself. Take the time to look closely, understand why you got where you are and what to do to get to where you want to be. The empowerment strategies below provide a menu of options to help you move beyond coping when you are ready.

Common Coping Mechanisms in Parenthood

Coping mechanisms are tools we use to manage stress or emotional overwhelm. Here are a few that are particularly common among parents:

woman carrying shopping bags over her shoulder; visualizes retail therapy as a coping mechanism preventing her to reclaim her motherhood

Sarcasm and Jokes: Humor is a universal coping tool. Who hasn’t laughed at a meme about the chaos of parenting or cracked a joke about their kids’ antics? While this can offer a moment of levity, over-relying on humor can perpetuate a sense of powerlessness or victimhood. There is a difference between sharing a laugh and connecting over it, and laughing something off. Using laughter to share the pain and connect with others is a better way to cope. It’s a fine line, but you will notice the difference.
Over-Scheduling: Filling every moment with activities for ourselves or our kids can distract us from feelings of overwhelm or inadequacy. However, it often leaves little room for reflection or genuine connection. I know it’s work, the school, sports activities, playdates, doctors’ appointments etc. that set the pace. And yes, it is not always easy to skip special events, nor is it recommended in the case of important visits to the doctor. There is still wiggling room though. You do not have to schedule three plus different sports and music lessons for your kid(s) each week, or attend all the social events at school and work etc. Try to be mindful in your scheduling as best possible.
Retail Therapy: Buying new toys, gadgets, or parenting hacks can feel like a quick fix to problems. But this often leads to clutter—both physical and emotional—without addressing the underlying issues. Instead of buying things, try investing into activities and experiences together, if you do want to spend money and get a special ‘wow factor’.
Emotional Suppression: Powering through the day by ignoring feelings of frustration or sadness can keep us going in the short term, but it often leads to burnout or resentment. You are also more likely to snap at your kids for small things with increasing resentment. Next you are likely to beat yourself up about it, because that is not how you want to parent. The vicious cycle starts, because now you resent yourself. Feelings can be hard to deal with and we need to put them aside for a while sometimes, but when suppression becomes a routine, it is a guarantee for disaster in the long run.

The Downside of Coping Mechanisms to reclaiming motherhood

While it is obvious that these methods provide temporary relief, they can unintentionally reinforce feelings of helplessness or dependency on external factors and prevent you from reclaiming motherhood your way. When we rely solely on coping mechanisms, we risk staying stuck in cycles of overwhelm rather than addressing its root causes.

Empowerment Strategies for Ambitious Working Moms

Empowerment strategies, in contrast, help us take charge of our emotions and circumstances. These practices foster self-awareness, resilience, and a sense of control. They also translate into better energy levels, improved family connections, and enhanced job performance—a triple win. Here are a few to consider:

Woman doing yoga and reclaiming her motherhood

Body Awareness: Practicing body awareness allows you to tune into physical sensations that reflect your emotional state. This helps you recognize overwhelm before it escalates and make decisions aligned with your values. Better alignment means better energy for both family and work.
Mindful Breathing: Taking a few deep breaths during stressful moments can shift your nervous system from “fight or flight” mode to a calmer state. This simple practice helps you respond to challenges with clarity rather than reactivity, ensuring you stay focused both at home and on the job.
Setting Priorities: Empowerment begins with knowing what truly matters to you, your family, and your career. Reflecting on your priorities can help you let go of unnecessary pressures and focus on what brings joy, connection, and professional growth.
Sharing your struggles: Discussing your challenges with a partner, friend, or support group can create a sense of solidarity and perspective. Sharing struggles in a constructive way is far more empowering than bottling them up or turning them into jokes.
Physical Movement: Activities like yoga, dancing, a run or even a brisk walk can release pent-up tension and boost your mood. Improved energy and mood positively impact how you engage with your kids and excel in your career.

How Empowerment Transforms Parenting and Work

mother and daughter head to head smiling at each other; a woman reclaiming motherhood for her own and her daughter's sake

When you shift from coping to empowerment, you move from reacting to life’s challenges to proactively shaping your experience and reclaiming motherhood on your own terms. Empowerment strategies don’t eliminate stress—but they change how you respond to it, allowing you to feel grounded, capable, and aligned in all areas of your life. As a result, you show up as a more present parent, a more effective professional, and a more energized version of yourself.

Final Thoughts on Reclaiming Motherhood

Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, but it does come with choices. While coping mechanisms will always have their place, integrating empowerment strategies can help you reclaim the joy, purpose, and confidence that come with raising your children. By reconnecting with yourself through practices like body awareness and mindful prioritization, you not only manage overwhelm—you thrive in the beautiful chaos of parenthood, career, and life.