Trust your body and your body awareness practice for coping with life challenges
My original plan for the next post was to write another theoretical article on the female body. I also announced this in my previous blogpost and still think, this is an important topic which I will write about eventually. For now I listened to my body instead. I will tell you a little about my own recent struggle to maintain a strong body awareness practice. Hopefully by sharing my personal experience you will be better prepared than I was and use your body awareness better for coping with life challenges.
The big move
Earlier this year, we decided that we would make a major move, far away from family and most friends. This was exciting and challenging at the same time. We could not have anticipated just how challenging it would become and we are still in the process of settling in our new home now.
There were just so many things to organize and do… As a couple we have moved around quite a bit, but with kids only once and within the same city. As parents who made the decision to completely uproot our live and that of our kids, our main concern was to help the kids transition smoothly.
Where the mental overload started
While we were still in our old home, I had my routines in place and remained attuned to myself as best possible during a time of impending change. But here is where I started to loose my connection despite having all the tools and knowledge; despite a strong body awareness practice. When our move finally started there were every day new obstacles, new plans and adjustments I had to deal with. My mental load exploded from one day to the next as a result.
After the initial overload with our old home being packed up (a process badly managed by the moving company) we started a long line of moves into various temporary accommodations. This is where I missed to notice just how dysregulated my nervous system and body were becoming.
Missed opportunities
Helping the kids to adjust remained our primary concern. With the move happening over the summer, we wanted to give them a bit of a vacation feeling. We hoped to gently transition them into their new surroundings. We did slow down a lot during that time. At that point I missed the opportunity to reinforce my practice of body awareness. While I did practice, I didn’t fully create a new routine for myself during that time. It is something I tend to do during vacations to allow myself a little more flexibility and exploration in my own practice.
I did and could not anticipate, however, just how challenging the next phase would be. I could not have known how much I would have benefitted from a strong practice at that exact (future) moment.
And that is the thing. That is life. It sometimes throws things at us unexpectedly – planned for or not. We had to move from temporary accommodation to temporary accommodation, packing and unpacking over and over. Finding supermarkets and the things we needed over and over. A million small things to consider at the same time.
Nourishment for the body is more than just nutrition
One example is finding my way in a new supermarket and getting to know the products. This is important to me, because I want to nourish my family and myself. I don’t want to just put anything into our bodies. For me this is an important aspect of body awareness – one I intend to write about in the future.
Initially shopping in a new country and supermarket means reading and understanding an awful lot of labels and ingredients lists. It takes so much time and mental capacity. Of course, I will be more lenient in times like this. Preparing food in temporary accommodations also has its limits. But I was not ready to fully relinquish our diet to convenience.
It’s also different, if you go on a proper holiday. You eat special local treats that are maybe not as good for you. But you simply can’t get them at home anymore. I did not want my kids to develop unhealthy eating habits that could easily continue going forward.
New routines over and over
I also kept re-establishing routines for us in each accommodation and at each phase of the move. The only routine that I did not re-establish over and over was my own body awareness practice. Instead I practiced as and when I remembered. That wasn’t often enough though since there was so much new information I was processing all the time. It reminded me of just how much mental and physical energy we save, if we have good routines in place.
All will be well, or not?
The kids started school, my husband went to work. Things needed to run as smoothly as possible while taking these next big steps. I was so focused on transitioning my kids that I barely noticed, just how far I was leaving myself behind. I kept telling myself that once we can move to our new home, all will be well. When our things finally arrived, however, I only realized just how much had gone wrong with the moving company back in our old home as well as our new.
Everything was an even bigger mess than you could have imagined. Things were and are missing. Boxes were randomly labelled and furniture not set up properly creating a safety risk for our children to name just a few. At both ends people rushed in, did a bad job and left again. I felt so overwhelmed at so many levels, it’s hard to explain.
There is something very intimate about someone else touching most if not all your things. Someone else coming into your home to pack it up, or to unpack it is more personal than I ever imagined. For them it is just another, probably not so well paid job. At the same time no matter what, safety always comes first and they certainly did not care about that. How could these people be so reckless? You can do any job well and you will have a better chance of moving up, or finding a better job. Surely at least that should be a motivation, if not other people’s safety and wellbeing? I clearly had been too naïve about the sheer scale of our move, but also about how deeply the thoughtless and reckless of people would affect me.
The body’s last resort
Not surprisingly, I ended up getting ill – which, obviously, I couldn’t. My husband had to go to the office and even started travelling again. The kids had to go to school and kindergarten. I had to settle our youngest at kindergarten while I was so deeply unsettled myself. Maybe as unsettled as I have ever been in my life. At that point, I was back to ‘only functioning’. I did what I ‘had to do’. I wasn’t able to stop and breath, move intentionally and listen for fear of falling apart. Only once bedtime came and all the noise and hustle of the day were gone, I allowed myself to feel it all, to notice what my body had to say.
I am just now coming out at the other end of the tunnel. Three weeks after we could finally move into our new home, I am still not fully recovered from being ill. What I have learned though is that my connection to myself is strong even when faced with adversity. My practice, however small it may be, is strong enough to re-connect me to myself when I most need it. Even very little body awareness practice can make a huge difference for coping with life challenges. I can say for sure that I would have coped much better with all of it, if I had maintained a stronger practice throughout. Honestly, I don’t know if I realistically could have done it differently though.
No magic wand
Luckily, I at least didn’t have fixed office times, or a new job to start with a new employer at the same time. It would not have been possible! Body awareness practice is super important and can make a difference for your job performance and career. It is not however a magic wand that can make everything go away; or you magically manage to do more than what is humanly possible in 24 hours. It can however give you the strength and confidence to prioritize in your own way, to decide which path is right at that point in time for you and your family.
Maintain your practice
I am sharing all of this, because I know how life can get in the way. We all need to remind ourselves once in a while to:
1. try to keep our body awareness practice going whenever and as best we can, because we never know what life will throw at us.
2. not beat up ourselves, if we slack in our practice and feel that we are losing touch – you can and will get there again, if you are determined to do so.
3. to remain aware of our bodies and to live intentionally are a conscious choice, a continuous practice.
I want to offer you the knowledge and support that you need to build that continuous practice. However big or small that practice needs to be for you without adding to your load, without another item on your list. Just more you, not more to do.