Category: Body Awareness

Categories
Body Awareness

The Self-Sabotage We Don’t Talk About

Dismissing Rest While Dreaming of Escape

We often think of self-sabotage as big, dramatic actions: quitting before the finish line, ghosting an opportunity, or spiraling into negative self-talk. But one of the most subtle and overlooked ways ambitious moms self-sabotage is in how we approach rest.

pliers cutting through wire as image for self-sabotage

We tell ourselves, “What I really need is a proper break. A weekend alone. A spa day. A week without kids.” And while those things sound wonderful, most of us don’t actually have the time, budget, or logistical freedom to make them happen regularly.

So instead of giving ourselves the restoration we can access, we reject it entirely. We push through. We power on. We keep going.

And that’s where the self-sabotage creeps in.

The Myth of “Real Rest”

If a break isn’t long, silent, and uninterrupted, we label it as worthless. We dismiss a five-minute pause with a cup of tea as “pretend rest.” We write off a quiet moment in the bathroom as “hiding,” not recharging. We laugh at the idea of a breath break because “what is that even going to fix?”

But here’s the thing: those small moments are real rest. In fact, they might be the most realistic and impactful forms of restoration available to us right now.

Rest isn’t about how long it lasts. It’s about whether or not you give yourself permission to receive it.

Why Ignoring Rest is a Form of Self-Sabotage

When we reject what’s available because it doesn’t match a fantasy, we:

  • Deny our bodies a chance to reset
  • Continue running on fumes
  • Create resentment and burnout
  • Wait for a future that might never come

This pattern isn’t about laziness. It’s about perfectionism. It’s about believing that unless rest looks a certain way, it’s not valid. That belief quietly reinforces the idea that we don’t deserve care unless we earn it through exhaustion.

Signs of Burnout and Rest Resistance in the Body

Your body always tells the truth. And it will let you know when you’re stuck in this sabotage cycle:

  • You feel physically restless when you try to sit still
  • You’re constantly fidgeting or multitasking
  • Your breath is shallow or tight
  • Even when you have downtime, you fill it with scrolling, chores, or planning

These are not signs of failure. They’re signals. Your nervous system is so used to “doing” that it forgot how to just be.

When You Can’t Rest, Even on Vacation

Here’s the tough truth: if you don’t practice resting in the day-to-day, you won’t suddenly be able to rest when vacation comes.

Your body doesn’t have an “off” switch. If you spend your days in a state of fight-or-flight — rushing, proving, pushing — then even when you do get time off, your nervous system may not know what to do with it. This is why so many moms get sick on vacation. The immune system, which had been running on adrenaline and tension, finally realizes there’s no saber-tooth tiger to outrun. And then it crashes. Headaches, fatigue, stomach bugs, or just an inability to feel truly present — these aren’t random. They’re symptoms of long-overdue stillness colliding with chronic stress.

Rest isn’t something you save up for. It’s a muscle you build.

A More Bodyful Approach to Breaks

Here’s a radical thought: what if you stopped waiting for a perfect escape, and started noticing the power of a single exhale?

Small, embodied moments of rest matter:

  • One slow breath
  • Sitting down to sip your coffee without your phone
  • A quiet minute in the car before picking up the kids
  • Placing your hand on your chest and saying, “I’m here.”

These are not insignificant. They are essential. They bring you back to you.

Bodyful Rest Practice: Try This Today

Next time you feel like saying, “This break doesn’t count,” pause. Place your feet on the floor. Take one slow breath. Say:

“This pause is enough. I am allowed to receive it.”

You don’t need to escape your life to rest. You just need to return to your body.

Why Rest Feels So Hard — and What You Can Do About It

For ambitious moms, rest isn’t just a matter of time. It’s a matter of mental load. You’re juggling work goals, family responsibilities, and invisible to-do lists that follow you everywhere. And often, when work challenges are unresolved, they don’t stay at work. They bleed into your evenings, your weekends, your thoughts during bedtime stories. Instead of resting, you find yourself brooding — replaying conversations with your boss, questioning your performance, trying to figure out your next move.

That’s where the Work Challenge Playbook comes in. It’s a free resource to help you untangle the real issue behind your biggest challenge at work — so your brain doesn’t have to do that mental juggling act at 10 p.m. or during family dinner. When your mind is clearer, your body can finally rest.

You don’t have to wait for rest. You can reclaim it, one breath at a time.

Categories
Body Awareness Career

From Half-Marathon to Career Growth

How moms can grow their careers without going straight for a promotion or new job

Recently, I ran a half marathon with very little preparation—just two runs per week, mostly around 7K each, with the occasional longer run. It wasn’t an official race; I joined a friend who had registered for a virtual race and wanted company. Why did I do it? Because I had run the distance before, but years ago, and while the idea of signing up for an in-person race intrigued me, it also felt too daunting—and potentially a waste of money if I wasn’t ready. So I treated this as a test challenge: let’s see how it goes, and worst case, I’d stop early. And this is exactly the principle how you, as a mom, can grow your career without pressure. Sounds intriguing? I thought so.

Post-run picture with victory sign; symbol for how moms can grow their career

Disclaimer: I would never encourage running a half marathon without proper training. I was able to do this because I know my body well and maintain an active lifestyle beyond my two runs per week. Listening to your body and respecting its limits is key!

And you know what? My half-marathon went really well. We didn’t aim for a record-breaking pace, but we weren’t slow either. Most importantly, I finished it feeling strong and accomplished.

Celebrating Wins: Why We Should Stop Downplaying Ourselves

Now, do I share this just to brag? Well, I am proud of my achievement—and that in itself is worth talking about. As women, we’ve been taught to stay humble, deflect compliments, and downplay our wins. But celebrating success isn’t arrogance; it’s self-recognition. And it’s even more powerful when we lift each other up instead of seeing one another as competition. We are stronger together. Celebrate your success at work and talk about them. Especially as ambitious professionals, we need to tout our own horns, if we want to progress since most bosses and employers don’t consider mothers as career driven.

Motherhood’s Daily Challenges vs. Career Growth Fears

Let’s talk about what this has to do with career coaching. As mothers, we navigate new challenges daily: a child suddenly refusing to brush their teeth, friendships at school shifting overnight, sibling fights that escalate out of nowhere. The mental load is heavy, and it’s understandable that adding another challenge—like a promotion with more responsibilities—feels overwhelming.

But here’s the thing: Parenting challenges are new to you every single time. A promotion or career step? That’s different. You already have the experience, skills, and knowledge. Yes, there will be new aspects, but you’re far better equipped than you might think—especially with the agility that motherhood has engrained in you.

The Power of ‘Test Runs’ at Work

One step at a time is how moms can grow their career - picture shows running shoes that symbolize the first step.

So, back to my half marathon. This was my test challenge—a way to explore my limits without the full pressure of a race. And you can do the same in your career. Instead of waiting until you feel ‘100% ready,’ dip your toes in. Take on a slightly bigger project. Offer to cover for your boss while they’re on leave. Shadow someone in the role you aspire to. We often forget that work (and life) isn’t just black and white; there are ways to ease into the next level rather than taking an all-or-nothing leap.

Fear of Failure & Underestimating Ourselves

This test challenge also reminded me how much I fear failure—and how I often underestimate myself because of it. So many of us were raised with perfection as goal. But this perfectionism keeps us from stepping up and here’s the truth: we only learn and grow through failure. And if fear still holds you back, create conditions where failure doesn’t feel as high-stakes—like a practice run before the real thing.

We Are Stronger Together

And finally, I didn’t do this challenge alone. I had someone running by my side. Just like in your career, finding an ally, a mentor, or a sparring partner can make all the difference. Practicing a big conversation with a colleague before you walk into a high-stakes meeting can boost confidence. Seeking support makes you stronger—it doesn’t mean you can’t do it alone, it means you don’t have to.

Body Awareness: Strengthening the Body, Strengthening the Mind

Of course, I can’t wrap this up without talking about what this challenge did for me through my body. It was a physical feat, yes, but it also reignited my energy, lifted my mental state, and sparked new ideas. Last week, I was in a slump—this reminded me just how powerful the mind-body connection is. Knowing when to push and when to pause is a skill, and strengthening the body can also strengthen the mind.

Your Next Step

So here’s my challenge for you: What’s one ‘test challenge’ you can set for yourself? Something that helps you explore your limits without the pressure of an all-or-nothing leap? Let me know—I’d love to hear what you come up with!

And if you need some guidance on how to tackle your ‘real’ challenge, why not get my Work Challenge Playbook which will guide you each step of the way.

Categories
Body Awareness Career Parenting

Reclaiming Motherhood

Mother and daughter reconnecting visualizing reclaiming motherhood

Coping Mechanisms vs Empowerment Strategies

Motherhood is one of the most rewarding yet challenging journeys in life. At some point, nearly every mother has resorted to coping mechanisms to survive the whirlwind of responsibilities and emotions. But while these strategies offer short-term relief, they can sometimes trap us in a mindset that makes parenting feel heavier than it needs to be. Enter empowerment strategies: Intentional practices that help us reclaiming motherhood as confident, grounded parents and professionals, improving not only family dynamics but also workplace performance.

‘Knowing and Noticing’ to Reclaim Motherhood

Obviously, we cannot always be on top of things and feel empowered all the time, but it is important to notice when we are in survival mode and ‘only’ coping rather than thriving. When you acknowledge that you are just about coping, you can find your way back to a more empowered self. A self that is more in line with the person you want to be, the life you want to live. Allow yourself to cope in the least harmful way. Below I am giving a few examples on common coping mechanisms. By acknowledging them as such and tweaking them a little, they can pivot you closer to empowerment.

Self-Compassion for Alignment

In short, you can reclaim motherhood by being aware of what state you are in. Be gentle with yourself when you are in survival mode and trust, that you will get out of this ‘just about coping’ stage and back into alignment with yourself. Take the time to look closely, understand why you got where you are and what to do to get to where you want to be. The empowerment strategies below provide a menu of options to help you move beyond coping when you are ready.

Common Coping Mechanisms in Parenthood

Coping mechanisms are tools we use to manage stress or emotional overwhelm. Here are a few that are particularly common among parents:

woman carrying shopping bags over her shoulder; visualizes retail therapy as a coping mechanism preventing her to reclaim her motherhood
  1. Sarcasm and Jokes: Humor is a universal coping tool. Who hasn’t laughed at a meme about the chaos of parenting or cracked a joke about their kids’ antics? While this can offer a moment of levity, over-relying on humor can perpetuate a sense of powerlessness or victimhood. There is a difference between sharing a laugh and connecting over it, and laughing something off. Using laughter to share the pain and connect with others is a better way to cope. It’s a fine line, but you will notice the difference.
  2. Over-Scheduling: Filling every moment with activities for ourselves or our kids can distract us from feelings of overwhelm or inadequacy. However, it often leaves little room for reflection or genuine connection. I know it’s work, the school, sports activities, playdates, doctors’ appointments etc. that set the pace. And yes, it is not always easy to skip special events, nor is it recommended in the case of important visits to the doctor. There is still wiggling room though. You do not have to schedule three plus different sports and music lessons for your kid(s) each week, or attend all the social events at school and work etc. Try to be mindful in your scheduling as best possible.
  3. Retail Therapy: Buying new toys, gadgets, or parenting hacks can feel like a quick fix to problems. But this often leads to clutter—both physical and emotional—without addressing the underlying issues. Instead of buying things, try investing into activities and experiences together, if you do want to spend money and get a special ‘wow factor’.
  4. Emotional Suppression: Powering through the day by ignoring feelings of frustration or sadness can keep us going in the short term, but it often leads to burnout or resentment. You are also more likely to snap at your kids for small things with increasing resentment. Next you are likely to beat yourself up about it, because that is not how you want to parent. The vicious cycle starts, because now you resent yourself. Feelings can be hard to deal with and we need to put them aside for a while sometimes, but when suppression becomes a routine, it is a guarantee for disaster in the long run.

The Downside of Coping Mechanisms to reclaiming motherhood

While it is obvious that these methods provide temporary relief, they can unintentionally reinforce feelings of helplessness or dependency on external factors and prevent you from reclaiming motherhood your way. When we rely solely on coping mechanisms, we risk staying stuck in cycles of overwhelm rather than addressing its root causes.

Empowerment Strategies for Ambitious Working Moms

Empowerment strategies, in contrast, help us take charge of our emotions and circumstances. These practices foster self-awareness, resilience, and a sense of control. They also translate into better energy levels, improved family connections, and enhanced job performance—a triple win. Here are a few to consider:

Woman doing yoga and reclaiming her motherhood
  1. Body Awareness: Practicing body awareness allows you to tune into physical sensations that reflect your emotional state. This helps you recognize overwhelm before it escalates and make decisions aligned with your values. Better alignment means better energy for both family and work.
  2. Mindful Breathing: Taking a few deep breaths during stressful moments can shift your nervous system from “fight or flight” mode to a calmer state. This simple practice helps you respond to challenges with clarity rather than reactivity, ensuring you stay focused both at home and on the job.
  3. Setting Priorities: Empowerment begins with knowing what truly matters to you, your family, and your career. Reflecting on your priorities can help you let go of unnecessary pressures and focus on what brings joy, connection, and professional growth.
  4. Sharing your struggles: Discussing your challenges with a partner, friend, or support group can create a sense of solidarity and perspective. Sharing struggles in a constructive way is far more empowering than bottling them up or turning them into jokes.
  5. Physical Movement: Activities like yoga, dancing, a run or even a brisk walk can release pent-up tension and boost your mood. Improved energy and mood positively impact how you engage with your kids and excel in your career.

How Empowerment Transforms Parenting and Work

mother and daughter head to head smiling at each other; a woman reclaiming motherhood for her own and her daughter's sake

When you shift from coping to empowerment, you move from reacting to life’s challenges to proactively shaping your experience and reclaiming motherhood on your own terms. Empowerment strategies don’t eliminate stress—but they change how you respond to it, allowing you to feel grounded, capable, and aligned in all areas of your life. As a result, you show up as a more present parent, a more effective professional, and a more energized version of yourself.

Final Thoughts on Reclaiming Motherhood

Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, but it does come with choices. While coping mechanisms will always have their place, integrating empowerment strategies can help you reclaim the joy, purpose, and confidence that come with raising your children. By reconnecting with yourself through practices like body awareness and mindful prioritization, you not only manage overwhelm—you thrive in the beautiful chaos of parenthood, career, and life.